Little things all add up to big results.

I’ve been talking about why it’s important to put yourself first and prioritize your relationship. It sounds counterintuitive or even unnatural when you say it out loud, but doing those two things first makes taking care of a baby so much easier. It’s really worth a try.

Something I hear many moms say is that they worry about whether they’re doing this parenting thing right. Well, in my opinion, if you’re worried about it, that’s a good indicator that y…

Parenthood is a whirlwind of surprises and challenges, especially in those first few years. 

One of my biggest shocks was realizing how having a baby could strain my relationship with my husband. Despite being a relationship therapist, this was something I hadn’t anticipated. And then there was the challenge of getting my baby to sleep—I had expected them to nap effortlessly, but that was far from the reality.

Had I known and prepared for these struggles, I might have felt less overwhelmed and…

Lately, I’ve been feeling the weight of the world more than ever. Some days, it feels like I can’t handle it all. Honestly, there are moments when I wish I could just hide under my blanket and escape from it all, hoping my kids won’t find me.

My initial instinct is to get lost in the heaviness. But when I indulge that impulse, I end up stuck, wasting time feeling bad, sad, or angry. What really supports me is allowing myself the space to move through these feelings. I’ve learned to get on with …

I am tired of self-care being shoved at women as one more thing to find the time and manage to do for themselves.  

I want to reframe self-care as a compassionate kindness and necessity.

Self-care, as it is sold to us, is not sustainable. When something is not sustainable an inevitable struggle to maintain consistency occurs. 

I struggle with making the time, space and room for self-care. I understand when people say that they don’t have any time because I put myself on the end of the list, t…

For me, being a mom can sometimes feel like never having time to recover before the next thing happens. Situations arise, my children need me, meals have to be made, laundry folded, a lost toy located. It can feel like a lot all of the time.

But what I’ve also noticed is helpful, is to be able to slow down in those moments, take deep breaths, not let the chaos envelope me. Instead making way to embrace the calm.

I also know that those tools are easier to access when I ensure I have opportuniti…

If you haven’t noticed, I am on a big self-care kick.

I am not talking about mani/pedis, massages or deep dive in your tub with the newest CBD bath balm. Those things are great! And, truthfully, they are only treating the symptom of something much larger. 

In last week’s blog, I filled you in, a tiny bit, about the science behind small shifts for big changes, the limbic part of your beautiful brain and integrating limbic calming techniques to create new pathways for calm. 

There are quite a n…

I have been seeing “Small changes for big movement”, “Little steps for great strides” and similar quotes, flood my social media these days. 

I gotta tell you, I am loving it! 

I have carried this daily mantra for years. I initially picked up the phrase, “small things often” from the Gottmans in regards to relationships and it has changed the way I approach my life. 

I imagine the next big thing you will start seeing is talk about our limbic brain and the powerful presence it plays in our li…

I’ll be honest.

I used to hold my breath and wait for the perfect present.

You know the one – the one that you can’t even fully articulate, but if your partner bought it for you, it would make your life complete.

That happened one Valentine’s Day, our first.

My husband (my then boyfriend) nailed it and I was beyond pleasantly surprised.

And then there I was, speechless and expectant every subsequent year, waiting for him to do the one thing I hadn’t asked for.

And then, being disappointed …

I had the opportunity to work with Elizabeth Hall with Elizabeth Hall Designs, in my home (virtually) and I new immediately I wanted to share her expertise with our Happy With Baby Community Facebook Group. She share some simple decorating ideas for busy parents without all the fuss!

Creativity and art have always been a part of Eilzabeth’s life, which led her to pursue a degree in Interior Design. She received her Bachelor of Science Degree in Interior Design from Colorado State University in …

Politics.

Nothing could have been more boring to me when I was younger.

I find it fascinating to watch my children grow and find things they are interested in, for example, politics. What I once found boring and had no interest in when I was younger, they are very engaged in.

They are excited about the debates, different perspectives and current events. They ask questions about things they hear from friends at school (or on Zoom), on the radio or from conversations between Rick and me.

This …

Catherine and Rick have been teaming up for over 10 years to guide, encourage and support new and expecting parents in their popular workshop, Mine Yours, Our: Relationship Survival Guide to Baby’s 1st Year and recently co-authored their book, Happy With Baby: Essential Relationship Advice when Partners Become Parents.

They sat down for a conversation in our Happy With Baby Community Facebook Group and talked about how boot camp compares to bringing a baby home, postpartum, parenthood, partners…

There are no “easy” stages of parenting. There is always something to learn and determine what works best for your child and your family. Finding support and resources to help guide us to the answers are key.

I had a thoughtful conversation in our Happy With Baby Community Facebook Group with Kara Haug, Sexual Health Educator at Reframing Our Stories. Kara has a gift for teaching comprehensive sexual health without the shame or guilt, but with excitement, engagement, compassion, and the invitat…

They say having a baby changes everything… bodies included, especially for us mommas. I’ve had women share with me that they avoid running and jumping and dread having to cough or sneeze, due to potential leaking. There are even concerns about sex not being the same after the baby is born. Plus many other changes.

We can have so many questions and sometimes are not sure where to go for answers. 

I had an amazing conversation in our Happy With Baby Community Facebook Group with Dr. Samantha Ste…

Parenthood throws us a lot of curve balls. Particularly in the first year of a baby’s life, but really, the surprises never stop.

Recently, I stumbled upon an article on Romper called “37 Moms Share What They Wish They Had Known Before Having Their First Kid.” 

Naturally, it made me think about my own experiences and what I wish I knew before I became a mom.

In case you’re now wondering, my biggest shocker was that it never even occurred to me that having a baby would be hard on my relati…

Little things all add up to big results.

All month long, I’ve been talking about why it’s important to put yourself first and prioritize your relationship. It sounds counterintuitive or even unnatural when you say it out loud, but doing those two things first makes taking care of a baby so much easier. It’s really worth a try.

Something I hear many moms say is that they worry about whether they’re doing this parenting thing right. Well, in my opinion, if you’re worried about it, that’s a…

When our lives feel overloaded, it can seem like we don’t have much room to be flexible. We can feel like we don’t have much choice.

Sometimes we really don’t have much choice. After all, somebody’s got to feed and change the baby, right? Somebody’s got to bring home the paycheck, pick up the groceries, take the car in for an oil change…. You get the idea.

But, sometimes I think we say “I can’t do that” before we even consider what our choices are. It feels impossible. As if it’s out of ou…

 In last week’s post, I talked about using the motto “small things often” to nurture your relationship with yourself, your partner, and your baby. Today, I’m going deeper into what this really means for moms.

For some of us, something happens after we cross the threshold into motherhood.  

It’s almost a bit of an identity crisis. We do for others--baby especially--and start to lose sight of doing for ourselves. I don’t mean that we’re suddenly incapable. I mean we just de-prioritize our…

I’ve been talking a lot on the blog lately about ways to get the support you need when you’re really doubting yourself as a parent--how to know when you need advice and when you just need encouragement, what to do with advice that doesn’t fit, and dealing with unsolicited advice from relatives and strangers.  

Today, though, I want to talk about finding that inner confidence as a parent, so that you can squash self-doubt and overwhelm all on your own. Truth be told, it doesn’t happen ove…

Are you the kind of mom that appreciates parenting advice from others?

Or, does that stuff annoy you every time?

Maybe it depends on the situation, the question, the messenger.

Every mom I know feels vulnerable and questions themselves at least once in a while.  (There’s nothing quite like motherhood to make even the most confident, competent woman question herself.)

With time, of course, we learn a whole new level of confidence, not sweating the small stuff or comparing oursel…

Today, I’m going to keep this short and sweet.  

Last week, I talked to you about the role of grandparents in our lives and why it’s so important to communicate with your little ones’ grandparents about what kind of support you need.

They all want to be involved in their own way.

• But sometimes they aren’t the type to jump in and handle things because they just don’t want to step on your toes.

  
  

• Sometimes they are comfortable with jumping in to lend a hand, but they ju…

Grandparents Day was this past Sunday. I don’t know if this is a thing people actually celebrate, but maybe we should be.

The role of a grandparent in a kid’s life can be such a special thing. I know I felt a special closeness to my own grandparents. Maybe you did too.

It can also be a godsend to us parents when we need a break and a heart-warmer when we see their special bond with our littles grow.

But I also know that when you have a new baby or toddler at home, navigating that …

Confession time, mommas. Sometimes self-care is really hard to be consistent with. Even for a therapist and mom like me.

I think we all struggle with this one--at least from time to time, if not all the time.

And when we fall off the wagon with it or have struggled to implement new self-care habits in the first place, the hardest part is starting.

It’s kind of like--well, I don’t know about you, but this is definitely true for me: Getting to the gym is the hardest part of exe…

I talk about self-care a lot. Like, A LOT, a lot.

And it’s not just me. Self-care became a buzzword years ago and it doesn’t show any signs of disappearing anytime soon.

I think this is a good thing… and a bad thing.

It’s great because we would all do better to slow down and tune into ourselves a little more often to ask, “What do I need right now?”

But, it’s also kind of a bad thing because there’s so much misunderstanding about what self-care really is.  

Mass m…

Last week, I showed you how to use my Postpartum Support Matrix worksheet to help you determine where you need extra help and support right now and over the long term.  

This week, I’m showing you the next step: How to manage it all and make sure everything is getting done, even if it’s not you doing every single thing.  

(And, in doing this, if you discover that it IS you doing every single thing, you’ll also discover how to pass those things off to someone else.)

One of the most …

Are you a new mom or dad that feels like you’re doing too much and can’t keep up? 

Are you so overwhelmed or exhausted that you can’t even think of what to delegate when people ask how they can help?

Or, maybe asking people for help just feels too hard, but you’d love to try to let yourself off the hook a little?

I get it. Completely.  

For one thing, as a mom,  I’ve been there myself. For another, this is something that comes up in my therapy practice ALL the time.

One of the most common issues moms bring up to me is that it’s so hard to find their mom tribe. Whether it’s online or in real life, it’s hard to figure out where we fit in or find that place where we can feel supported and not judged for our choices, fears and struggles.  

And yet, I really think it’s one of the most important things for all moms to have in place--that circle of friends who get it, who can lift us up when we’re down or just let us cry without offering advice or critici…

Well, May has come and gone and summer is in full swing. But, just because Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month is over doesn’t mean the conversation is over. Maternal Mental Health is important 365 days a year.

So, we might be well into June by now, but I want to recap what we discussed in the last month and share with you some weekly tips videos I did over on my Facebook page.  

I completed and shared with you 7 all new Expert Edition Momma Interviews:

• Jennifer Moyer tal…

May is Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month, so I've relaunched my "Momma Interviews" series--This time with an extra special set of moms. These mommas also work to support other moms and their families during the transition into new parenthood and beyond. I'm calling it the "Expert Edition", but I think you'll find that while these women definitely are experts in their work, parenthood has a way of making a beginner out of everybody. Even experts get surprised by the unexpected and learn …

May is Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month, so I've relaunched my "Momma Interviews" series--This time with an extra special set of moms. These mommas also work to support other moms and their families during the transition into new parenthood and beyond. I'm calling it the "Expert Edition", but I think you'll find that while these women definitely are experts in their work, parenthood has a way of making a beginner out of everybody. Even experts get surprised by the unexpected and learn …

May is Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month, so I've relaunched my "Momma Interviews" series--This time with an extra special set of moms. These mommas also work to support other moms and their families during the transition into new parenthood and beyond.  I'm calling it the "Expert Edition", but I think you'll find that while these women definitely are experts in their work, parenthood has a way of making a beginner out of everybody. Even experts get surprised by the unexpected and learn…

May is Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month, so I've relaunched my "Momma Interviews" series--This time with an extra special set of moms. These mommas also work to support other moms and their families during the transition into new parenthood and beyond. I'm calling it the "Expert Edition", but I think you'll find that while these women definitely are experts in their work, parenthood has a way of making a beginner out of everybody. Even experts get surprised by the unexpected and learn …

May is Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month, so I've relaunched my "Momma Interviews" series--This time with an extra special set of moms. These mommas also work to support other moms and their families during the transition into new parenthood and beyond. I'm calling it the "Expert Edition", but I think you'll find that while these women definitely are experts in their work, parenthood has a way of making a beginner out of everybody. Even experts get surprised by the unexpected and learn …

May is Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month, so I've relaunched my "Momma Interviews" series--This time with an extra special set of moms. These mommas also work to support other moms and their families during the transition into new parenthood and beyond. I'm calling it the "Expert Edition", but I think you'll find that while these women definitely are experts in their work, parenthood has a way of making a beginner out of everybody. Even experts get surprised by the unexpected and learn …

May is Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month, so I've relaunched my "Momma Interviews" series--This time with an extra special set of moms. These mommas also work to support other moms and their families during the transition into new parenthood and beyond. I'm calling it the "Expert Edition", but I think you'll find that while these women definitely are experts in their work, parenthood has a way of making a beginner out of everybody. Even experts get surprised by the unexpected and learn …

Written by Rebekah Fedrowitz 

Becoming a new mom is one of the happiest times in a woman’s lives. The love and joy that comes from simply watching your baby is unlike any other experience, filling you with love, satisfaction and contentment.  

But what happens with those emotions are juxtaposed with feelings of worry, anxiety, and even sadness? The love and joy are welcomed, but the others are not, and the combination of feelings can be overwhelming.

That’s what happened to me.

The …

“I just had my baby 4 days ago and I feel like I haven’t been able to spend alone time with her at all. My family and friends keep calling and stopping by the house without warning. I don’t want to be mean by telling them not to come over, but I really just want time to bond with my baby right now. Is that bad? What should I do?”

If you’re reading this because you’re having a similar problem, let me just start by telling you that you’re not bad. You’re not selfish. You’re also not alone. F…

Motherhood is a rite of passage. It’s a kind of life (and a kind of love) that you can only truly understand if you’re also a mom yourself. So, what about our friends that haven’t birthed babies or otherwise become parents to little humans? 

I often hear from moms that it feels like there’s a disconnect in the friendship once one of the two has become a mom. And sure, sometimes relationships run their course and not everyone is meant to be in our lives forever.  BUT…  still. Isn’t it…

How do you feel about mom groups on Facebook?

I’ve been asking around about how other moms feel about mom groups on Facebook and other social media and the funny thing is, I’m met with groans every time. I’m not surprised, really. More just disappointed for moms everywhere.

I guess we probably should have predicted this. Road rage has been a problem for probably decades. Social media trolling, though relatively newer, comes out of a similar mentality.  

The root cause is our ability t…

A recent Facebook post went viral about a mother who was seeking help for Postpartum Depression, but instead of her being able to get the help she was seeking, it resulted in the cops being called, the mother feeling “more broken”, and with still no services in place to help her. This is not OK.

I wish I could say that this was the first time I had heard of this happening or that it didn't happen right here in Sacramento, where we have been working really hard to get screening and incre…

Is it just me, or does it seem like this year’s cold and flu season is particularly rough? Lately, it seems like everyone has taken the hit. It has definitely shaken things up a bit at my household already.  

In January’s issue of Real Simple magazine, they put out a great article on how to survive sick days. (The advice in it is genius. It’s worth checking out.) But, the focus is mostly on families with older kids.  

And it hit me: Why haven’t I talked about sick days with babies a…

I don’t know about you, but I’m still riding high on new year’s vibes. I’m so excited for what’s in store this year and I'm feeling really optimistic about what this year will bring for all of us. One of the ways that I like to welcome the new year and honor myself for what I’ve lived through in the past year is to do a yearly reflection. (I posted a blog about this last January.) This helps me to really think about all the things I actually did do in the last 12 months, and not get discour…

This week's video is all about how, after I had run myself ragged as a mom, I finally learned to focus on how I want to FEEL over what I want to accomplish. 

In it, I tell you about my 3 favorite ways to start focusing on the right things. With some practice, these habits will help you to naturally create your ideal day. 

Watch the video here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcNMUST8a7Y&w=854&h=480

When you’re a mom, the unsolicited advice and passing criticisms from others can come out of nowhere sometimes.  

Because the holidays tend to bring about more family gatherings and social events, this can set us up for a lot of opportunities to be on the receiving end of those comments. Not to mention, with all the added stress and hustle that the holidays often bring with them, we might be feeling just a bit more frazzled or sensitive than other times of the year. As if being a parent…

We’re officially within the bounds of “holiday season” by now. We survived the time change (how did that go for your little ones, by the way?). It’s getting darker way sooner than it was just weeks ago. And fall is transitioning into winter.

This time of year, the sun sets so early in the day and even when it’s out, you might not always see too much of it. Skies turn grey or overcast many days out of the season. Northern California, where I live, definitely tends to get more precipitati…

Trigger Warning:

This post deals with the common experiences and needs of moms who have lost a baby. If you have experienced a miscarriage or baby loss and the grief feels too raw for you right now, please honor how you’re feeling today and consider bookmarking this post for another day when you’re feeling stronger or more ready. 

Last week, in honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, I wrote about some of the common threads experienced by moms who have miscarried or lost a ba…

Trigger Warning:

This post deals with the common experiences of moms who have lost a baby. If you have experienced a miscarriage or baby loss and the grief feels too raw for you right now, please honor how you’re feeling today and consider bookmarking this post for another day when you’re feeling stronger or more ready. Or, simply skip the content and scroll to the bottom of this post to access the short list of support resources I have included for you.

This Sunday (Oct. 15) is Pregnancy…

This is not a post about how to plan a Pinterest-worthy, uniquely-themed first birthday party that will wow your guests and make impressive Instagram photos.  

I’m not going to talk about smash cakes, decorations, or party tutus. You can find plenty of that with just a quick Google search.

What I really want to talk about is WHY a baby’s first birthday is such a momentous day worth celebrating, and how to celebrate it in ways that honor that WHY.

To clarify: No, of course there’s not a r…

I don’t know about you, but lately, my Facebook newsfeed is filled with adorable first-day-of-school photos.  

I love it. You can see the anticipation in their little faces and I completely understand what those moms and dads posting them must be feeling.

This time of year always makes me a bit reflective about transitions. And I can’t help but think about how parenthood is constantly insisting we grow right along with our kids.

Three major times of transition immediately come t…

Motherhood has a way of catalyzing change and growth. It's like the one great equalizer: Motherhood doesn't care if you're a so-called "expert" or not. We ALL struggle. And we all acquire our own set of mothering wisdom to share. 

This week, I had the pleasure of being featured in PsychCentral's article, "Women Reveal the Biggest Lessons Mothering Has Taught Them." I'd love it if you'd check it out. Then, share your own wise mothering lessons in the comments below!

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