Finding Your Calm By Letting Go of Perfectionism (A Daughter's POV)

My father once told me, “We are not perfect; there’s no perfect parent,” since then, this line has never left me.

I’m just a graduating student, aspiring to be many things. I have no kids, I am not a parent, but I am a daughter who has grown up with my parents. We have a good relationship; we communicate when there are misunderstandings and always consider everyone’s opinions. I’ve always admired my parents’ approach to parenting; they are strict but you don’t feel confined.

To me, they are the best parents. They’re great, but they’re not perfect. I remember times when they were overwhelmed by their emotions and said things that hurt me. But when they became calm, they regretted it and apologized.

I’ve witnessed firsthand the power of letting go of perfectionism. It’s something I’ve seen in my parents and something I’ve come to appreciate deeply. Their ability to admit their mistakes and move forward has taught me important lessons.

Just like anyone else, parents make mistakes too, and that’s perfectly okay.

As their daughter, I’ve learned that letting go of perfectionism helps parents find calm in their parenting. Here’s how:

Less Stress

Trying to be perfect creates a lot of unnecessary stress. I’ve seen my parents go through it – the sleepless nights, the constant worrying about making the right decisions. They seemed much more relaxed when they started accepting that mistakes are part of the journey. This relaxed mindset has helped them enjoy their parenting more, creating a more peaceful environment for all of us.

More Flexibility

Perfectionism often leads to rigid expectations. I remember when my parents used to stick to strict rules, which sometimes made things tense. But over time, they learned to be more adaptable to my needs and the generation gap. This flexibility has made our home a much more harmonious place. It’s allowed us to go with the flow and handle whatever life throws at us with calmness. 

Better Relationships 

When parents accept their imperfections, they become more approachable. This openness strengthens the parent-child relationship, making children feel more comfortable sharing their own mistakes and experiences.

Positive Atmosphere

Embracing imperfection creates a more positive and supportive family atmosphere. When parents aren’t fixated on being perfect, everyone feels valued and understood, fostering a sense of belonging and emotional security. Our home feels warmer and more supportive because we all accept that it’s okay to have flaws – it’s normal. 

Letting go of perfectionism not only benefits parents but also creates an environment where children can thrive and grow into confident, compassionate individuals. It has taught me that aiming for perfection is less important than striving for understanding and love. I’ve learned that it’s the imperfections that make us human and that embracing them can lead to a richer, more calm and fulfilling life.

To all parents, I know you strive to give your children the best life possible, but as a daughter, I want the best for you too. We don’t need you to be perfect; we need you to be calm, to grow, and to be genuinely happy. 

Your well-being matters to us just as much as ours matters to you. So please, let go of the need for perfection and embrace the beauty of being wonderfully human.

Author’s Bio:

Shara Joy Tobias is a 22-year-old Filipino and a fourth-year Journalism student at the Polytechnic University of the Philippines. She previously interned at Altermidya, a network of independent media outfits in the Philippines, and GMA Records, where she focused on photojournalism and productions. Currently, Shara works as a freelance content writer at Team Dklutr, a digital marketing agency. She is passionate about sharing inspiring stories to inform and educate through visuals and writing.