Momma Interviews, Session 4: Meet Bee

The Momma Interviews is a new blog series by Catherine O'Brien, LMFT highlighting the thoughts, experiences and wisdom of a unique real-world mom each week, to normalize and validate the struggles and triumphs that are a part of the universally human experience of motherhood for women everywhere.

This week's momma asked that I refer to her as Bee. Like her name, this interview is short and sweet, but undoubtedly charming. I love her ability to keep it simple--especially in her advice to new moms! Quite possibly the best advice yet! Read on and let me know what you think.

How do you balance the mom, work, and relationship roles?

It's incredibly hard. I was always a self sacrificing person before, so that was already normal - I find myself at my limit a lot of the time.

Most moms I speak to say there are moments when they are ready to throw in the towel. Can you describe a time you felt this way? What got you through it?

It's funny, the moments definitely happen but I'm having a hard time thinking of one. There was a night that my baby needed to nurse for a few hours straight recently. Crying and talking to my husband helped.

What do you do when you feel overwhelmed, overstretched, or less than?

I rely on my husband and friends to listen.

I've had parents tell me that one of the hardest things about being a parent is the comparisons and judgements from other parents. How do you personally cope with that?

I don't know any judgmental parents yet! I think when I do run into judgement I'm not going to be nice about it.

What is the great lesson you've learned as a mom?

That we are all imperfect animals, and it's ok.

What is your favorite quote that inspires you as a mom?

Not a direct quote, but my friend Caitlin texted me once and reminded me that I am the perfect mamma for my baby. So, even if I'm not perfect.... we were made for each other and I am what he needs.

What is your favorite song that inspires you as a mom?

Oh man, I lost my father when I was in the second trimester of my pregnancy. Music is now a minefield of emotion. We like to dance to 'My Leather, My Fur, My Nails' by Stepdad ...that one doesn't make me cry.

What do you feel is your greatest personal struggle with the experience of motherhood?

I wish I could sacrifice myself even more without consequence. The balance, the depth of the challenge.

How has your relationship with your partner changed? How has it stayed the same?

I feel like we are kinder to each other, and we watch out for each other more.

How has your relationship with your friends, family or support system changed? How has it stayed the same?

We had friends who were anti-baby who are lost. Others are innocently ignorant. Others have stepped up significantly, it has been a huge shift.

What is something that has surprised you about being a mom (i.e. something you didn't realize you'd enjoy, something you didn't know babies/kids did, something you didn't know could bring so much joy)?

I didn't know I would want to do the things that I expected would be a burden.