Connecting with your partner after baby

Until I had a child myself, I did not value “date night”.  I find this to be an important tip that seems rather simple, but often is overlooked as children enter into your relationship.  It may not look the same as it once did.  However, making sure that you can get a couple of hours a week to spend time with your partner is ideal.  This will give you time to connect, which is key to working through the challenging times.  If you are able to connect with your partner in a positive way the things that drive us crazy seem to be less relevant than when you are not able to do so.

You are saying to yourself, “Yah right! A couple of hours is unrealistic!  I don’t even have time to shower or comb my hair half the time.  How am I ever going to have a couple of hours every week to look adoringly into my partners eyes?”  I understand and this is so true, especially if your baby is small. In the early days it can seem like a big effort to take time to talk with your partner on a daily basis.  As John Gottman’s (author of And Baby Makes Three) research shows that as little as 10 to 15 minutes a day will be beneficial and adds up to over an hour a week.

You can find this time in many ways.  It could be as simple as turning off the television or muting the TV during commercials. You and your partner could go for a walk while pushing your baby in the stroller. Spending the time while in the car talking can also be a great utilization of your time. Figure out what works best for you as a couple, try out different things, and if something didn’t work today it may work better tomorrow.  Make an effort to remember your relationship, this is not only for the best interest of your relationship, but ultimately, for the best interest of your child(ren).